first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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