He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
