I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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