Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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