I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
