dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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