JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
