TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
