did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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