I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
