he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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