Hey man sorry I got all grabby
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
