Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
