So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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