He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
