You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
false alarm. still invincible.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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