the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
