Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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