even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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