i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
