I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
