So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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