Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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