Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
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