There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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