She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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