moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
