Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
