did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
