If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
