Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
