so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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