You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
