I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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