No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
