he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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