he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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