I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
