my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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