I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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