This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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