How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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