I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is my gift to your gina
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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