dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
