Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
