I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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