I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
