Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
