You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
