U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
