Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
