Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
